guess who’s back! (you’ll be gutted to know that it isn’t slim shady)
Isn’t it absolutely hilarious how I said that I’d update this every week, and I could event uphold that for 0.2 seconds. Quite honestly, I am bitterly disappointed in myself, I didn’t actually think that I’d forget about this. At least I hoped I wouldn’t. Anyway, I apologize for that. Not that many people are reading this (which sucks guys, come on now tell your friends. Spread the hype about this shitty blog).
So what’s new in my life? Well, exams are fast approaching (that absolutely f*cking brilliant isn’t it? Oh f*ck I’m so screwed). To be fair, I am naturally quite an anxious person, so my constant anxious feelings regarding these upcoming exams comes as no surprise. But seriously, every time I cast a simple, tiny thought to sitting even one of the exams I feel like throwing up. Chundering all over the bloody place. It’s ridiculous! I really need to get a grip. So in case you don’t know, I am currently doing an A Level in Biology, English Literature and Food Technology. And even though I’ve only just gone on study leave, I’m already fed up, bored out of my mind! I feel like I’m going over material I already know and yet when I come to answer the simplest questions on anything, I can’t. I’m incapable. Completely useless.
English is one of the most ridiculous subjects ever, I wouldn’t recommend doing it at higher level. Don’t get me wrong, I love literature. I love to read. I love Shakespeare. And I love poetry (to an extent). But honestly when you’re completing a 3 hour exam with an exam board that can’t even provide accurate poetry, you start to lose hope for any success in the subject. Seriously, its ridiculous! I’m sat in my penultimate English lesson before I leave for studying, and my teacher sits at the front and calmly tells us that there are numerous grammatical mistakes within our anthologies. And then she doesn’t even proceed to tell us what those mistakes are! What?! And once again, What?! How on this bloody earth can I be expected to take an exam with an exam board that realises a mistake they made 2 years ago, ONE WEEK BEFORE MY EXAM. ONE GOD FORSAKEN WEEK! And they’re supposed to be the smart ones, what idiots!
Right, now I’ll take you to my final English lesson. My teacher (who we’ll call…. Sandy) runs in, papers flapping due to the velocity of her entry, and stops short due to minority of our class. What a brilliant turn out there was, eight people, out of twenty. Eight people turned up. Now while you read about this brilliant last lesson I had, I want you to keep in mind that the room was actually covered in tin foil and I was dressed in a fluffy tiger onesie (IN 20 DEGREE HEAT). I’ll explain the onesie thing in a sec, but let me cover the tin foil first. So in our school, it’s traditional for the year 13s to play pranks on the rest of the school on our last day, and because this was Sandy’s room and everyone (kind of) hated her, they thought it would be absolutely hilarious to cover her entire room in tin foil, staplers and all. Okay, now for the onesie. Now in this same school, it’s also tradition for everyone to dress up, these are often coordinated within friendship groups. This seems like a fun idea, right, a cute way to end being at the same school for seven years. So everyone dresses up, and you end up with your hippies, your prison breaks, your pink ladies, your superheroes, and the seven dwarfs. All very good ideas, and all easily adapted to the unexpected heatwave that England experienced over this week, however some friendship groups (*cough* mine *cough*) didn’t quite plan for this weather and somehow didn’t have faith Britain actually being capable of having warm (dare I say it, even hot) summer. So me and my beloved friends decided to dress up as various different animals (cute, right)… using onesies… not just any onesies… fluffy pyjama onesies. I’ll let you think about that one for a few minutes, and you’ll probably need the time to get to grips with my stupidity. So I dressed up as an adorable tiger, then we had a giraffe, a monkey and cute little penguin (real cute, right), so the intention was there, but honestly I don’t think I’ve ever made a worse fashion choice in relation to the weather.
Right so now we’ve covered the extreme circumstances of the situation, I can finally tell of what occurred in Sandy’s final lesson. So like I said, she ran in, a gust of wind following shortly afterwards and she stacked masses of paper and books onto the front desk. This would seem relatively normal for Sandy, if this wasn’t our last lesson, and the room wasn’t covered in tin foil, and I wasn’t dressed in a bloody tiger onesie. So the fact that she tried to deliver a completely normal lesson with just eight of us on the room, was a bit ambitious. (Just a tad!) So she stood at the front and just looked at us for a minute, now at this point you could probably guess that there was the hint of slight disappointment behind her eyes. I’m not going to lie, I did feel slightly sympathetic for her, I mean she did really try. But it was so late in the year and so bloody hot, that no one gave a shit. Sorry Sandy, I really am. She stands at the front, and she whips out a stack of post-it-notes, all written on, on things that she wanted to cover in the lesson, now this ranged from things were doing shit on in a recent essay, random nuggets of context (which we have actually heard before) and a vaguely inspiring speech on how this wasn’t the end for this beloved class (because obviously we’d all be coming back during study leave for more enjoyment).
So the rest of the day was relatively normal and what you’d expect of the day. I had a biology lesson, in which we presented our teacher with a bunch of flowers, a box of chocolates and a ‘thanks for everything’ card. In return, she’d set up a cute little ‘party’ where we were expected to eat and work at the same time (sure thing). Then I had my last food tech lesson, which consisted of no work (about bloody time) and lots of food (my kind of lesson to be honest). So my teacher, which I’ve had for 4 years now, presented us all with a present, this was honestly the cutest thing ever. I received some cupcake cases, a cake stand, a very personal card (so sweet!) and a personalised wooden spoon with a ‘keep calm and carry on cooking’ engraved into it. So that was nice, if you’re wondering we did get our teacher a present, this consisted of a cupcake Pandora charm, a ted baker purse and a bunch of flowers.
So yeah.. that was my final day at school. And honestly I think I will miss it (not that I’d ever tell anyone that). My leavers assembly was everything I expected it to be, but really I think that I’m so ready to leave.
Anyway, that was just the usual…
Until next week (I hope)